It was during the rainy season in the city of Jos, Plateau State, located in the north central of Nigeria, with a relatively cold temperature, ringed by high mountains and valleys- a good reason people in Jos are athletic.
On 27th November, it was a public holiday in the whole of Plateau State due to the chairmanship and councillorship election that was scheduled on this day. Me, my house mates and some fellows from other lodges made arrangement to go swimming since we are not eligible to vote because we didn’t register our voters’ card in the state. Behind my Lodge, Mountains elicited it beauty, deep down the mountains there is a waterfall that produces sweet, cold and neat water with a very high current. We bought meat and juices, took our bags piled them with cream, combs, short wears and chocolate bars. I and a friend, Miracle alias Akpako started hiking the mountain so we could swim as much as we could before the rest would come to join us. When we reached the peak of the mountain we took a view of miles, to see what our eyes could see, the serenity of Jos metropolis, voters queuing up getting ready for the electoral proceedings, scanty security men milling around the whole places, we could even see some part of Bauchi state especially Yelwa, a bordering town. After taking panoramic view of the whole scene, we started straight to the God-made swimming pool. We pull off our shirts and trousers and left with only shorts with our manhood dangling in it. Coming from the north-west region where things like this are uncommon, I had no dexterity in swimming while Akpako from a riverine area can even float on water, after swimming for about 10 minutes, we agreed to take a break before the others arrive, we got out of the water shivering of cold, gnashing our teeth, when we scurried out of the water we went directly to where we kept our clothes but they have grown legs, they have vamoose, immediately fear gripped us, we became frightened as hell, short of words and devastated. We started quizzing ourselves as if that will help solve the problem, ‘’could it be that the monkeys in this mountain took away the clothes,” Akpako inquired, ’’no jor, it can’t be’’, I retorted. We couldn’t run back to the water or even make a move to get back to our lodge because we were all soaked in water with our shorts clenching to our body thereby revealing the shapes of our manhood and the bisect of our backside. We summoned courage and started searching every nook and crannies, tree tops in case the monkeys to it there but all our effort to finding the clothes were futile. We almost gave up all hope of finding the missing wears by sun-drying our wet bodies, but something happened, we started hearing some jeering laughter behind us; it was my friends, the ones we have been waiting for.
We later learnt they have been around for over 30 minutes, that was when they cart away the clothes. We clustered in the little pool that was half the size of a standard swimming pool. We lasted longer this time until we got exhausted, we made our way out of the water and settled for meat, no one knew it was a dog meat until we consumed all of it, some of us tried to vomit the meat but we couldn’t, some even cursed the dude that brought the meat, but of what relevance? The deed has been done. We chatted about it and blamed it all on our gluttony too. We creamed ourselves, done our clothes and also performed the same ritual again, panoramic sight, it was the same in terms of serenity, voters are now dispersing with no sign of disappointment or hiccup. This must be a peaceful, free and fair election, the type we have been striving to have.