It"s on
Monday morning, April 2012. Samson woke up from sleep with an emptied
stomach, hungry like a roaring lion looking fro whom to devour. Samson
looked around his room just like someone who slept in an unknown place but no,
Samson was looking to see if he’s any food stuff in his room, he has only rice
and Indomie noodles.
He couldn’t stand
the time wasting in cooking rice, “Indomie will take me 20 minute to cook”, he
said to himself. He move speedily to the direction of the noodles and tore it
apart, poured it inside his small cooking pot, he plunged his hand into the pot
and collected some small quantity and chewed it raw. He took up the lighter to lit his plate-size kerosene stove but discovered there was no kerosene in it, Samson transferred
the pot to Akpako’s. Akpako is a right-hand friend of his; some refer to them as Gay friends but yes they are happy
friends. Akpako is not he type of a guy
that takes things so common, he always make sure he leaves no trace of kerosene
in his stove, he always empty it into a can.
With all his effort to cook deemed futile he searched pockets sanctimoniously for a penny
and came to live when he saw a N100 note on his table. Samson has no other option than to rush to a
nearby breakfast joint, Mama Chichi restaurant, on getting to the restaurant Samson
ordered for a beans cake and a pudding for N70, Mama Chichi rushed into the
kitchen like an Olympic medalist and brought out beans cake and pudding for N70
each, argument ensued between them as he tried tirelessly to let her know that
it was not what he ordered for, Samson and Mama Chichi argued over it for like
30minutes as Samson’s face was filled with exasperation, she has no choice but to
return the breakfast and make amendment, Samson watched her as she walked back
into the kitchen in an angry mode with her breast sagging above her belly, she
was conversing with her daughter, Ada in a subdued tone in igbo language,
Samson was eavesdropping on their conversation as fowl words are been hurled at
him, Samson feigned obliviousness as she was walking straight to him, he ate
the food with double anger.
He went back to
his apartment and narrated his Mal-treatment in the hands of Mama Chichi to
him. He was surprise and astonished
after learning that he did not retaliated viciously at her. Samson is the kind
of a person that takes no shit from a a girl, an evidence that shows he’s
half-gay to his female friends.
He went back to
Mama Chichi’s restaurant two days later with Akpako to prove his claims to
him. “I need beans cake and pudding for
N70”, Samson said to Mama Chichi, this time around Mama Chichi, Ada . Samson
and his friend were all in the kitchen, she spoke in igbo to Ada, “is he not
the guy that came the other day?” and Ada affirmed “he’s the guy that came the
other time, the foolish dude”. The word
FOOLISH struck him in the head like when two metals collides, Samson asked Ada “what
did you say?” Both of them turned at him, gazing at him like a daze frog that
finds itself in a cinema hall, “she said you are the fellow that came the other
day”, Mama Chichi replied, “she said I am the fool that visited the other day
or do you think I don’t understand igbo” Samson retorted. Bewilderment became their maiden name as
Akpako was making jest of them, “a wise man will act and pretend to be foolish
just to acquire the prudence and weakness of the other”, Akpako said this time
in a more adoring way. Mama Chichi and
Ada later apologised to Samson and thanked him for being able of bridling his
cantankerousness. On that sultry Wednesday,
Akpako and Samson ordered their best delicacies for free without coughing out
any dime from their pockets.
Written
by: Samson Mikel
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