It"s on Monday morning, April 2012. Samson woke up from sleep with an emptied stomach, hungry like a roaring lion looking fro whom to devour. Samson looked around his room just like someone who slept in an unknown place but no, Samson was looking to see if he’s any food stuff in his room, he has only rice and Indomie noodles.
He couldn’t stand the time wasting in cooking rice, “Indomie will take me 20 minute to cook”, he said to himself. He move speedily to the direction of the noodles and tore it apart, poured it inside his small cooking pot, he plunged his hand into the pot and collected some small quantity and chewed it raw. He took up the lighter to lit his plate-size kerosene stove but discovered there was no kerosene in it, Samson transferred the pot to Akpako’s. Akpako is a right-hand friend of his; some refer to them as Gay friends but yes they are happy friends. Akpako is not he type of a guy that takes things so common, he always make sure he leaves no trace of kerosene in his stove, he always empty it into a can. With all his effort to cook deemed futile he searched pockets sanctimoniously for a penny and came to live when he saw a N100 note on his table. Samson has no other option than to rush to a nearby breakfast joint, Mama Chichi restaurant, on getting to the restaurant Samson ordered for a beans cake and a pudding for N70, Mama Chichi rushed into the kitchen like an Olympic medalist and brought out beans cake and pudding for N70 each, argument ensued between them as he tried tirelessly to let her know that it was not what he ordered for, Samson and Mama Chichi argued over it for like 30minutes as Samson’s face was filled with exasperation, she has no choice but to return the breakfast and make amendment, Samson watched her as she walked back into the kitchen in an angry mode with her breast sagging above her belly, she was conversing with her daughter, Ada in a subdued tone in igbo language, Samson was eavesdropping on their conversation as fowl words are been hurled at him, Samson feigned obliviousness as she was walking straight to him, he ate the food with double anger.
He went back to his apartment and narrated his Mal-treatment in the hands of Mama Chichi to him. He was surprise and astonished after learning that he did not retaliated viciously at her. Samson is the kind of a person that takes no shit from a a girl, an evidence that shows he’s half-gay to his female friends.
He went back to Mama Chichi’s restaurant two days later with Akpako to prove his claims to him. “I need beans cake and pudding for N70”, Samson said to Mama Chichi, this time around Mama Chichi, Ada . Samson and his friend were all in the kitchen, she spoke in igbo to Ada, “is he not the guy that came the other day?” and Ada affirmed “he’s the guy that came the other time, the foolish dude”. The word FOOLISH struck him in the head like when two metals collides, Samson asked Ada “what did you say?” Both of them turned at him, gazing at him like a daze frog that finds itself in a cinema hall, “she said you are the fellow that came the other day”, Mama Chichi replied, “she said I am the fool that visited the other day or do you think I don’t understand igbo” Samson retorted. Bewilderment became their maiden name as Akpako was making jest of them, “a wise man will act and pretend to be foolish just to acquire the prudence and weakness of the other”, Akpako said this time in a more adoring way. Mama Chichi and Ada later apologised to Samson and thanked him for being able of bridling his cantankerousness. On that sultry Wednesday, Akpako and Samson ordered their best delicacies for free without coughing out any dime from their pockets.
Written by: Samson Mikel