Sunday, 25 May 2014

NIGERIA: HOW LONG ARE WE GOING TO BE ON THE BACKLOG

When I was a teenager back in the northern part of the country I  get wasted in a musical track of Tony Tetula, e go better,  seldom do we take a critical reflections of what the song meant back then, we only dance to the rhythm and not to the lyrics.
In the later years, it came crashing on my mind and that of my buddies; we couldn’t even fathom the direction to which the country was taking, the conduit of our complaint are placed in different problems.  I never thought that I will one day find myself in this mess- human right abuses, perfidy, corruption and ethnocentrism- the worst of it is that nobody is complaining, we all fold our arms and look up to God (a typical phrase of a Nigerian-God will save us), a Nigerian would rather see someone been punished for exercising his fundamental right simply because he/she thinks the practice is not convenient to him, a Nigerian sees bribery and corruption as a normal practice and they are never ready to change; I was queuing  up in a bank trying to pay my fees but to cut the story short, we were asked to go and come back the next working day, as we were about to leave the cashier systematically selected about six girls that he will help access their e-Transact payments, to my greatest surprise no one spoke against the preferential treatment meted out against the boys, I tried to speak but my words couldn’t even petrify a fly simply because I  had no backing from my peers.
I remember when Governor Rotimi Amaechi of Rivers State once made a statement that they are poised to siphon the national treasury simply because no one is stoning them, does this word of a popularly elected governor ring a bell in your head?  $20 billion accrued from the NNPC varnished into thin air and nobody talked about it.  The problem with Nigerians is that we believe that we don’t have a say, we are so passive like a Christmas fowl that wakes in the morning not knowing that it is going to be slaughtered in a matter of hours.  Opium of the masses, our brains has been doldrumed by the governing elites who plunged a thousand naira note on our palms, compromising it with national stability and development and growth.  Even in our university environment which is supposed to be a citadel for the upbringing and re-engineering of leaders of tomorrow is now a market place for the exchange of muscles.
Like I always say, let us not be like the Americans that were asked to die for the unity of their country, let us fight for the betterment of our country because beyond this terra firma there is no place we can call home.  Let’s stand up for our right, let’s make believe that there’s hope, in the words of a philosopher, Aristotle, hope is an awaking dream. We need individual change and action irrespective of your social status or class. Let us observe the tenets of human rights, let’s eliminate prejudice, inequality, and discrimination, Susan B. Anthony opines that “the true republic: men, their rights and nothing more: women, their rights and nothing less.”

Written by: Ejioffor, Ikechukwu

Saturday, 8 March 2014

48th Matriculation of the University of Nigeria, Nsukka

                                          HAPPY MATRICULATON

EWU JAMBITO! EWU JAMBITO! EWU JAMBITO!  I jolted out of my bed I room in the university campus; it was a hubbub of noise from the fresh students, I was among the fresher, elated that I happened to be among this first year boys of my institution, it was just last year but it feels like it was yesterday, how time flies.  Ewu Jambito in other words means Jamb goat

That morning, January 2013, I done in my reserved-for-special-day shirt, and my oversized matriculation gown, immediately I stepped out of my room, a rapturous noise blanketed me.  Filing out with my buddies felt like am in a very sumptuous universe, we went to the Margret Ekpo convocation arena for our matriculation induction, and we were all given a New Testament pocket bible. It been over 3 years I held a bible and I felt I had found my lost glory, we sonorously sang the university of Nigeria anthem, listened to the sermon, waited for item seven but it never came, albeit we never cared all we wanted is to go on with the after-orientation events, among which are: taking pictures with friends, wining and dining and also making sure the whole perimeters of the school perceive our cologne. 

On this day, friends and enemies wear different kind of faces, the new matriculants are also happy for different reasons that you can never observe with your senses, for instance I was happy ‘cause it is like walking on a new path, for others it was because at last they are now recognized as a student of a university, to some it was because they assume and believe they are first class student going by the virtue of their CGPA-5.0.

I wish all the whole Jambitos a happy matriculation exercise and I pray you all to be an example of what Nigeria is yearning for- good leader, messiah, transparent, human right respecter; you can be all this  only if you walk on it, the world is waiting for you.

Ejioffor Ikechukwu
Year Two

Public Administration

Friday, 20 December 2013

Teenage Christmas

"Mama bought me shoes yesterday, it is blue"
"O cool, mama didn't buy any for us, she said that she is impecunious, that she has no money and papa too is not saying anything yet,"  Chimezie replied to me in that deprived tone of his.  Chimezie, 7, was a friend of mine, and a neighbor, we shared things and most times complete each other sentences. With is oily skin and large head you can easily tell where he hails from, Anambra, the commercial center of Eastern Nigeria.  He has never been worried and perplexed like the yuletide season, he has now inculcated that habit of withdrawing from me, now that I needed him most so wheel can ride bicycle wheels and pay seek and hide with other compound mates.

In the evening of of Christmas eve, we went our desperate ways, he went to his mother to help her fry the chin-chin she was baking, whilst I went to my mum to help her in frying the chicken-the best part of it is when my mum will be talking to Nessi so that I will sharply cut a large chunk of meat and stuff it in my mouth, even if she found out she can't tell me to vomit it.
Me and Nessi will start fathoming and creating images of how the next day will be, waking up in the wee hours of Christmas, sweeping the compound, taking bath and putting on our newly acquired clothes.  That night always seem like a long night ever, out of desperation I would force my self to sleep, woke up every 30 minutes hoping that it's already dawn. I would seat at the edge if the bed, mumbling and lamenting for the next day to come, later I would recline to my bed, writhing in frustration of the night. Immediately I heard the cock squeak I would jolt out of my bed and sneek peek through the window to see the sun rise, Nessi, wake up it is Christmas, I would shout in exhilaration. Yay, Christ is born, happy christmas, Chimezie would say immediately he knocks at the door.

We would go to Chimezie's house to greet their parents, the kids were all wearing long faces and folded arms while their parent's eye were fixated on their telly.  "Good afternoon sir and ma," I said, "Good afternoon Zech and Nessi, how are you," Chimezie's father would ask, instead of Nessi to reply the question she would bursh it off, "Aunty, gbara m Christmas, aunty give us Christmas present," Nessi said. They ushered us to their table and serve us rice, meats, chin-chin and other hors d'oeuvre but we won't eat the food instead we would eat the meats and little chin-chin because we still have other places to go to, so we would rather accept meats than foods so that our stomach won't burst.  After eating Chimezie would follow us to other rendezvous to see friends, I gave him my plastic rimmed eye glass and fez cap so he could add to his last year outfit in order for him to look like a 'niggar, 2pac or even P square.'

Christmas is always delectable when you are a teenager, when you become old it will kind of bore you because it might run down your account trying to shop for the kids so they won't feel inferior like Chimezie.

Saturday, 30 November 2013

Lagos Suspends Principal where Pupils seat on windows

         



A story on the dearth of good furniture in Ikeja Grammar School, Lagos, published by Saturday PUNCH last Saturday drew a wrong chord with the Lagos State Government.

Last Monday, it suspended the school principal for allowing this writer to gain access to the school premises and take photographs of classes where pupils sat on windows and concrete blocks while learning.

Even though it was reported in the story titled, “Lagos school where pupils learn sitting on windows, concrete blocks” that the principal was not around when this journalist visited the school, Saturday PUNCH learnt that her superiors have decided to hang the blame of the scandal on her.

Efforts to speak to the principal as the news of her suspension broke on Monday, were unsuccessful as she was nowhere to be found in the school. Teachers are not allowed to speak with the press in the state.

But an irked teacher, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the principal was removed from her position as a punishment on Monday.

The teacher said, “This is more serious than you think; you have put this school in trouble. The education ‘oga’ (commissioner) and other state officials summoned the principal on Monday and she has been removed from her position.

“She was asked to start reporting to the office of the permanent secretary of the ministry of education as from Tuesday.”

Our correspondent, who paid an undercover visit to the school on Monday, noticed that the issue had put all the teachers in the school on edge as many of them were seen holding copies of the published report.

It was also learnt that the state government’s education top officials had gone a step further by querying a teacher who was teaching a class when photographs of an array of broken furniture the pupils sat on were taken.

Our source within the school said another teacher, a head of department, is also facing the ministry’s ‘fire’ in connection to the said publication. The Commissioner for Education, Mrs. Olayinka Oladunjoye, had last week Friday admitted that her ministry was aware of the issue of the bad furniture in the school.

“Thank you for your observation; we are not unaware. As I write, chairs are being supplied and before too long, it will go round the schools,” a text message from her said on Friday. But by Monday when this correspondent visited the school, no new chairs had been supplied.

This correspondent got in touch with the Lagos State Chairman of the All Nigeria Conference of Principals of Secondary Schools, Mr. Babatunde Philips, to find out if the state of furniture in secondary schools in the state had been a subject of discussion in the conference’s deliberations in the past.

But Phillips said he could not comment on the issue at the time.

“I heard about the suspension of the principal (of Ikeja Grammar School). It makes me very sad that she had to be suspended. But we are planning to make our findings about the issue. I cannot say anything about the issue right now,” he said.

The state government’s action after last Saturday’s publication seems to have become a trend in the way it handles issues relating to its responsibilities.

In August 2013, after Saturday PUNCH published a report on the state of an orphanage located beside a house owned by the Deputy Governor, Mrs. Orelope Adejoke-Adefulire, operated by Mrs. Rose Nwachukwu, the state government closed down the orphanage and arrested the woman even though experts said officials should have monitored the orphanage’s activities in the first place.

When a text message was sent to Oladunjoye on Thursday on the report that the principal was suspended, Oladunjoye replied simply, “Which report is that please? I know a report is already in the public domain.”

Lagos Suspends Principal where Pupils seat on windows

         



A story on the dearth of good furniture in Ikeja Grammar School, Lagos, published by Saturday PUNCH last Saturday drew a wrong chord with the Lagos State Government.

Last Monday, it suspended the school principal for allowing this writer to gain access to the school premises and take photographs of classes where pupils sat on windows and concrete blocks while learning.

Even though it was reported in the story titled, “Lagos school where pupils learn sitting on windows, concrete blocks” that the principal was not around when this journalist visited the school, Saturday PUNCH learnt that her superiors have decided to hang the blame of the scandal on her.

Efforts to speak to the principal as the news of her suspension broke on Monday, were unsuccessful as she was nowhere to be found in the school. Teachers are not allowed to speak with the press in the state.

But an irked teacher, who spoke on condition of anonymity, said the principal was removed from her position as a punishment on Monday.

The teacher said, “This is more serious than you think; you have put this school in trouble. The education ‘oga’ (commissioner) and other state officials summoned the principal on Monday and she has been removed from her position.

“She was asked to start reporting to the office of the permanent secretary of the ministry of education as from Tuesday.”

Our correspondent, who paid an undercover visit to the school on Monday, noticed that the issue had put all the teachers in the school on edge as many of them were seen holding copies of the published report.

It was also learnt that the state government’s education top officials had gone a step further by querying a teacher who was teaching a class when photographs of an array of broken furniture the pupils sat on were taken.

Our source within the school said another teacher, a head of department, is also facing the ministry’s ‘fire’ in connection to the said publication. The Commissioner for Education, Mrs. Olayinka Oladunjoye, had last week Friday admitted that her ministry was aware of the issue of the bad furniture in the school.

“Thank you for your observation; we are not unaware. As I write, chairs are being supplied and before too long, it will go round the schools,” a text message from her said on Friday. But by Monday when this correspondent visited the school, no new chairs had been supplied.

This correspondent got in touch with the Lagos State Chairman of the All Nigeria Conference of Principals of Secondary Schools, Mr. Babatunde Philips, to find out if the state of furniture in secondary schools in the state had been a subject of discussion in the conference’s deliberations in the past.

But Phillips said he could not comment on the issue at the time.

“I heard about the suspension of the principal (of Ikeja Grammar School). It makes me very sad that she had to be suspended. But we are planning to make our findings about the issue. I cannot say anything about the issue right now,” he said.

The state government’s action after last Saturday’s publication seems to have become a trend in the way it handles issues relating to its responsibilities.

In August 2013, after Saturday PUNCH published a report on the state of an orphanage located beside a house owned by the Deputy Governor, Mrs. Orelope Adejoke-Adefulire, operated by Mrs. Rose Nwachukwu, the state government closed down the orphanage and arrested the woman even though experts said officials should have monitored the orphanage’s activities in the first place.

When a text message was sent to Oladunjoye on Thursday on the report that the principal was suspended, Oladunjoye replied simply, “Which report is that please? I know a report is already in the public domain.”

Jos Crisis:My Plight, My Ordeal (PART 2)

                                                   

DAY 2
After our yesterday escapade, we were exhilarated and curious in our state of being, every occupant in my lodge tuned to their favorite radio station-rhythm fm, Ray power, PRTV fm, et al.  I, on my own side was totally oblivious and lackadaisical as to the political happenings in the state, let to talk of a low-key election as such.
I picked up my blue rubber bucket to go fetch water at a nearby well- you don’t need a drawer to fetch water from the well, all you have to do is to stoop and scoop the water with your bucket without any hurdle. I fetched my water and trudge to Bola’s lodge to get my note books, passed through a motor park that is always cramped with travelers but the park was deserted and I was a little bit perturbed but I shrugged it off until a woman in her 50s with a flaccid bosom and wrinkled face walk to me and started asking some question in her native language, Anaguta ,I smiled and told her in Hausa  that I don’t understand what she’s saying , that was when she code-switch to Hausa language, “don’t go anywhere my son, I heard that the city is in turmoil,’’ this what she told me in her words, trepidation crept in and I rushed back to my street as a matter of fact, I was about to pick my bucket when a man with stab wound on his back came rushing towards where I was standing narrating how he miraculously escaped mob action in Zololo, a densely populated muslim street-just about 200metres to Terminus market, I was shaking, half-listening as he narrated his ordeal, and before I could recollect my far gone memory in not less than twenty minutes the whole place went dead, and dark smokes can be seen enveloping the cloud from afar, I notified my good buddy, Chucks about the bizarre happenings and rushed back to my  lodge to convey the news to my house mates and also to save my documents by carrying them along. Fehintola  and Jennifer were already dressed and set for the day’s lecture when I shook them with the news, that carries fire and macabre, I scurried into my room to rummage some of my papers, before I could say the next word that was hanging on my neck the two girls were gone,  but to where? I asked around and no one saw them.  I asked for my friend, Chucks but he’s vanished, I tried desperately to reach his phone line but it was dead, before I know it waves had conveyed the news to my parents without my own consent, Mum called me on phone and I declined her call, then dad’s but this time I picked it an told him that my street was calm, again mum called for the second time and I did same by lying- white lie though.
This was how it started. The area boys mobilized themselves with whatever weapon they could lay their hands on and started setting shops that were owned by Muslims alight (they scampered and left their shops and some trucks in the park). In  time of crisis even the most virgin heart that can’t kill a rat turns into the most venomous snake, I pulled off my faded jean trouser with my phone in it and hurled it over a house I don’t know it occupant, picked up a long stick that has the shape of a hockey stick-curved  end, the  elders in kunga1 of Naraguta  village gingered us to move to the warfront  and protect the village and churches that it house, we matched forward hurling grenades, arrows and  shooting age-long guns, the other  opponents from Zololo are doing the same. Causalities were recorded, death toll increased, business centers turned into debris, houses were on fire; all from both sides. It was during this crisis that I got to know that Jos women  posses granite heart than their men- so turgid, some of the women were supplying stones and water for the thirsty while some are in the warfront chanting war songs, I also get to know that size is not might, inside cultists they ‘re cultism, most able bodied and giant students in kunga1 were nothing but chaff, they had no value as they ‘re scared to their pants they  left us, the miniature creatures to protect them whilst they  were hiding, clutch to their feeble minded girlfriends, only few of the over 20 cultist in the area came out with their short guns to repel the attackers. My friend, I.P lost his uncle to the fight that lasted for over 6 hours, his uncle has already told him about his mission-to protect a church and also pleaded with them to help pay his debtors the money he’s being owing them. I.P’s uncle left his kunga2 residence to kunga1 where the church’s located, he and some other men garrisoned the place but when the situation got intense they scamper and left him with the church of which the attackers burnt together with him. I.P swore to us when we went to commiserate with him that he would seek retribution of which of which he did because they were secret killings in the area in ensuing days. Jimmy and Emmanuel sustained different degree of injuries from a swollen knee (he’s struck by a stone) to a bullet wound on his shoulder. I was lucky to have escaped some stray bullets flying over my head because I was crawling so low. It took almost forever before intervention came from the Nigeria military force, and this was when dialogue that had a nix effort began, a b-b curfew was also put in place.
Gideon offered me a round -the -street tour where he showed me all the mess, the burning and the lootings, we later digressed to a more entertaining discourse, hence to divert my attention from the objects of reality. We passed a bend where shops were looted and burnt down, egg shell scattered everywhere, tins of peak milk that has already been used, ‘’Guy, look down, ’’Gideon said to me without any  sign of panic, I looked down as he commanded and I immediately staggered  behind him. It was a burnt man, we call him ’Aboki’ because that’s what Hausa people are fondly called in Jos and other
Non-Hausa speaking states. Narrating how Aboki got burned to death, Gideon told me that when his other fellow Hausa men were running for their lives he stayed behind in his warehouse garrisoning his raw yam and egg which he do fry to sell to us, student favorite, when the locals noticed him, he took to his heel, when he noticed they were coming for him.
Aboki ran to my friends lodge, khalito momento, khalito hid him in his toilet but when the locals came knocking at khalito’s door post, to khalito’s surprise his local friend threatened to kill him if he don’t produce Aboki, khalito in his mid- twenties cried like a baby and handed Aboki to them, they poured fuel on him and set him alight, he was dying slowly until khalito’s friend finally took his arrow, he was finally sedated. I was really an eye sore, seeing a man burnt beyond recognition with an arrow pricked to his chest.
When the dust settled, after two days of the comatose, I made up my mind to go home, because I was nostalgic. During the last two days we were forced to live indoor with no water and food except for the eggs in bags my friends loot from a full-to-beam trailer, so we all settled for the eggs, Sometimes we fry them but when our vegetable oil got finished we started boiling it, funny as it may sound we couldn’t differentiate the stench oozing from our room and the farts from our butts, I think all the eggs we ate broke down into bad air in our stomach because everyone of us developed a bulge stomach, we couldn’t visit the lavatory. Only farts.
News later got to us about chucks, while he was standing and waiting for me he saw an almost empty bus travelling to Gombe, he took that chance and boarded the bus, and it was almost a fry pan to fire experience for him because Gombe state was wearing a hostile face that morning.
For Fehintola and Jennifer it was a different story altogether, funny as it may sound, it was an escape embedded on exchange theory. They were running on their toes when they saw a muslim Fulani woman with her two year old daughter (her husband had fled that morning) also trying to evade the scene. Fehintola took the baby from her as they trudge towards zololo, a haven for the Fulani woman, but what about fehintola and Jennifer, how about their safety? The Fulani woman depicted her benevolence by taking off her hijab and gave it to Fehintola , pulled that of her daughter and gave it to Jennifer, Immediately they took a change of name. Fehintola became Halimat and Jennifer transfigured to Aisha, this was how they move freely in zololo in the guise of being a muslim, until they got to Abuja hostel of the university of Jos.
When everything seemed like it has cooled off, I rummaged for my belongings, and some were intact while others has been stolen. I arranged them in a big Ghana-must-go bag and left for the park by 4pm (Just not to catch up with the curfew) for tomorrow early morning bus. There was nowhere for me to lodge, so I had to sprayed cartons on the floor and use my bag as a pillow, lying there with other folks in the middle of the night with hubbub of dogs barking, mosquitoes producing agonizing noise in my ears and sulking blood.

This is my story, this was how it turned sour and this was how something that was political turned into a religious ceisis within a wink of an eye.                                        

Jos Crisis: My Plight, My Ordeal (PART 1)

         Gog & Magog



Day 1
It was during the rainy season in the city of Jos, Plateau State, located in the north central of Nigeria, with a relatively cold temperature, ringed by high mountains and valleys- a good reason people in Jos are athletic.

On 27th November, it was a public holiday in the whole of Plateau State due to the chairmanship and councillorship election that was scheduled on this day.  Me, my house mates and some fellows from other lodges made arrangement to go swimming since we are not eligible to vote because we didn’t register our voters’ card in the state.  Behind my Lodge, Mountains elicited it beauty, deep down the mountains there is a waterfall that produces sweet, cold and neat water with a very high current. We bought meat and juices, took our bags piled them with cream, combs, short wears and chocolate bars.    I and a friend, Miracle alias Akpako started hiking the mountain so we could swim as much as we could before the rest would come to join us.  When we reached  the peak of the mountain we took a view of miles, to see what our eyes could see, the  serenity of Jos metropolis, voters queuing up getting ready for the electoral proceedings, scanty security men milling around the whole places, we could even see some part of Bauchi state especially Yelwa, a bordering town.  After taking panoramic view of the whole scene, we started straight to the God-made swimming pool.  We pull off our shirts and trousers and left with only shorts with our manhood dangling in it.  Coming from the north-west region where things like this are uncommon, I had no dexterity in swimming while Akpako from a riverine area can even float  on water, after swimming for about 10 minutes, we agreed  to take a break before the others arrive, we  got out of the water shivering of cold, gnashing our teeth, when we scurried out of the water we went directly to where we kept our clothes but they have grown legs, they have vamoose, immediately fear gripped us, we became frightened as hell, short of words and devastated. We started quizzing ourselves as if that will help solve the problem, ‘’could it be that the monkeys in this mountain took away the clothes,” Akpako inquired, ’’no jor, it can’t be’’, I retorted. We couldn’t run back to the water or even make a move to get back to our lodge because we were all soaked in water  with our shorts clenching to our body thereby revealing the shapes of our manhood and the bisect of our backside. We summoned courage and started searching every nook and crannies, tree tops in case the monkeys to it there but all our effort to finding the clothes were futile. We almost gave up all hope of finding the missing wears by sun-drying our wet bodies, but something happened, we started hearing some jeering laughter behind us; it was my friends, the ones we have been waiting for.

We later learnt they have been around for over 30 minutes, that was when they cart away the clothes. We clustered in the little pool that was half the size of a standard swimming pool.  We lasted longer this time until we got exhausted, we made our way out of the water and settled for  meat, no one knew it was a dog meat until we consumed all of it, some of us tried to vomit the meat but we couldn’t, some even cursed the dude that brought the meat, but of what relevance? The deed has been done. We chatted about it and blamed it all on our gluttony too. We creamed ourselves, done our clothes and also performed the same ritual again, panoramic sight, it was the same in terms of serenity, voters are now dispersing with no sign of disappointment or hiccup. This must be a peaceful, free and fair election, the type we have been striving to have.